i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
