I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
