Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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