its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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