How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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