so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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