that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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