He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
