i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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