Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
