Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
