We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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