I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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