Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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