I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
