haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
