you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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