Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
