is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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