you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
