Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
