I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
