Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
