clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
