I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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