i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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