life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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