My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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