And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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