I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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