everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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