handjob tips. give me some.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
God, I missed his penis.
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