a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
