FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've blown a few things in my day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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