Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
