Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
