I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't put those talents on a resume
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
