Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
