when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize