i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
