so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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