super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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