I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
