You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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