i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
