true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
