I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
