She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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