Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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