so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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