Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
