SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
