Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
