I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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