why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
