I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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