I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
