she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
