the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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