Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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(850): View more from Florida

u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

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(425): View more from Washington

you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

(206): View more from Washington

youre the best friend ever

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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(305): View more from Florida

I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.

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(347): View more from New York

I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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(513): View more from Ohio

CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????

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(703): View more from Virginia

Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.

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