tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
