I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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