my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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