Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
