Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
