he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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