see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize